i want us to get this thing to an end
so that i could know you from the very start all over again
in a different point of view

kontemplasi

menanam kebencian tidak pernahlah baik
apalagi memupuki dan menyiraminya
sampai ia tumbuh begitu subur
dihalaman hati mu yang gersang dan kelabu
maka marilah kita
menebangnya atau jika terlalu sayang
abaikan lah
sampai ia nanti layu dan mati sendiri
butuh waktu, memang
apalagi jika ia telah tumbuh begitu besar dihati mu
tapi apalah ruginya mengabaikan hal yang hanya dapat
membuat gersang dan kerontang halaman hati mu sayang?

L.O.V.E

making someone as your priority though you're just an option for them

useless

pointless

tiring

waste of time

profitless manifestation in life

i finally made peace with my self

It's really never been your fault or her, it's always mine but I've forgive myself and ready for another excitement of life.. :)

Aaaahhh what a relief..

aku lega hingga rasanya hampir melayang

visitor

"A stranger with your door key explaining that i am just visiting
And i am finally seing why i was the one worth leaving"

-The Postal Service, The District Sleeps Alone Tonight-

since you're that pathetic

what if..
i cried as much as her that night?
i love you more then she loves you this whole time?
i frankly spoke and expressed it from the first time?

will things be diffrent?

two wasted stupid years

what is normal? what is abnormal? what is insane? what is sane? am I passive or aggresive?
do i state my mind clear enough or not?

when i thought we're making something, it turns out that you're busy making something with someone else

we're just never have the same persepctive this whole two years, don't we?

tell me, what is big problem in your point of you?

I've shared and told everything
I'm sorry if they're not big enough for you


you should be grateful to have a friend like me
that never asked too much attention

and if my problem doesn't fit to your requirements as a friend
I'm ready to leave if you want me too
but, well, it's gonna be your lost
cause, no one want to hear your story like I do

aku pulang dari pesta topeng yang sangat panjang

hari ini aku ingi bergelut dengan kesedihan
berkecipak dengan air mata

hari ini aku ingin bermanja-manja dengan kekalutan

membangunkan kejujuran yang lama tetidur pulas
setelah lama berpesta pora dalam kepalsuan

time will heal

dear time,
please do work right
heal me..

what if there's no other step?

"Change starts when someone sees the next step." (William Drayton)

how Am I supposed to change?

all i need is some peace of mind

i'm going to go
to a very far far away land
where everything is pure and untouched
nice and quite

so i can
at least
have some peace of mind
and peace with myself
before in the end
forget and forgive you

menyendiri, memeluk bulan