dear, alter ego

sus
gini loh
you just cant meet random people
and decide to love them

it's just...
not healthy!

all the love and expectations and whatsoever that you put in your/in my mind. you better take them all out right now. because sometimes to have no expectations in anything or anyone is just normal.

a floating gas balloon

have you ever been in a situation where you are too afraid to put on some hopes and yet too lazy to make some back-up plans? where you basically can't rely on anything or anyone. life with no purposes and aims not because you don't know what you want, but because you have feel satisfied enough with what you have and done, that you don't feel like you have to ask for anything else. Me, i am living it now.

yes, i have no goals, no direction, i might be lost in my own life.

but I've got things that wanted more than i thought i would and my basic needs fulfilled.

That all i wanna do is just to sit back and relax, watch the world spinning, do and think about nothing, with no plans to be worried about.

I guess this time I'll surrender my self in the hand of the wind and let it takes me where ever it wishes to take me.

and hopefully maybe when I finally touch the ground again I already know where i am heading to.

role play

ini gimana yah,
saya yang terlalu banyak bergerak apa mereka saja yang pantatnya berat?
saya yang kebanyakan haha-hihi apa mereka saja yang tidak tahu cara senang-senang?
saya yang tidak pernah tahu apa mereka yang memang tidak mau kasih tahu?

siapa jadi apa siapa tahu apa siapa dimana siapa harus melakukan apa siapa patut apa siapa dapat apa siapa jadi siapa

beritahu siapa saya dimata mereka biar saya tahu harus jadi siapa..

*entah kenapa sesaat hati saya terenyuh saat mem-posting tulisan ini :(

i am a joker, you better beware when i laugh

when i laugh, is when i serious the most!

sorry

I am mad and i am sick of blaming my self. So, i am blaming you


Sorry.. It was always my fault :(

to win is always taste even sweeter

i really mean it when i said nothing to lose
but to win the competition always taste even better

viva victory

call me one ambititous bitch
but hell yes. deep inside i am

I am watching you

Helga:

(as deep voice)
I am everywhere and nowhere, but mostly I am
everywhere

-Helga Geraldine Pataki, on Hey Arnold! The Movie-

Helga Pataki is one of cartoon characters that I adore the most

oh I am so tired with all these unsteadiness, ups and downs thingy

like i've said before

Susye in Real Life

saya merasasaya lebih nyata
dari pada saya yang
nyata-nyata ada di dunia nyata

dan jika dunia ini
benar panggung sandiwara
saya hanya bisa bertanya-tanya
harus sampai kapan bermain peran
jadi si nyata, biar dapat diterima di dunia nyata

and now i truly beleive that the phrase "Becareful with what you pray for" is true

well,this is
what i am
praying for

your happiness, i might say
my misery, for that i'm sure

and now you leave me here
all alone
feeling miserable
while you are gone
with your bundle of joy

it is like i'm plunging off to a bottemlss cliff without a place to cling

my heart know:as dark as the depth of the deepest ocean

what a disappointing
achivement

that drags me
to
a never ending sadness
and a regret that will linger forever