oh my dear Lord it is december for gracious sake.

oh my dear Lord, is it December already? happy things are waiting for me. happy things that i wish i could postponed for a sec a day or two. birthday, christmas, and new year that i wish would come late.

a not so happy thing that i wish would come late too. deadline.
i cant even helped myself to count how many days are left.

i want to release everything that my body content. to emptied it out. fully. so that i will have nothing inside me. but not the kind of emptiness that will you leave a hole in your body or a lonely feeling after it. though, all this time I’ve put everything inside of me, and carried them around. yet, i still feel lonely most of the time. but you know, the kind of emptiness that will leave you a lighter body. that when you lay on the ground and made yourself a snow angel you’ll feel like the wind could lift you up off the ground. and when you close your eyes all you see is not a dark hole but a kaleidoscope sky.the emptiness that finally freed you.

tell me how to stop

so i've decided not to go or even make any plan to go somewhere far before i've done this whole skripsi thinggy.

ah well tapi kan jauh itu relatif iya ga sih? :P



ya Allah cepetan dong selesainya :"(

sing a song for me

do you feel like singing?
cause right now I feel like dancing
and I can't start without you

two wasted stupid years

what is normal? what is abnormal? what is insane? what is sane? am I passive or aggresive?
do i state my mind clear enough or not?

when i thought we're making something, it turns out that you're busy making something with someone else

we're just never have the same persepctive this whole two years, don't we?

it seems like you dont understand what is hard for me

we've been arguing for everything.
everything that i want, but you wont give me
everything that you wished, but still i cannot accomplish

i know that you've tried your best to give me the best.
please do see me as I see you
belive me i've tried to give you my best too

questions of sincerity

yes yes yes
Yes I do expected something from you and the others, and I do treating others as I would like to be treated. Also i do sad and disappointed when you don't give me anything after all those things that i gave and did to you.

Is it wrong? or is it normal?
don't we people do such things?

And it is going to be much more wrong, i guess, if i deep in my heart, secretly, I scared to death that all those people whom always have me behind their back, won't stand for me or catch me when i fall someday.

Is it wrong? or is it normal?

is it just the idea of loosing that creep my mind out or am I really one selfish bitch that always take everything for granted?

I do ask a lot of questions don't I?

oh dear heart please work as sincere as you can do, since sincerity sure will takes away all those worries from our shoulders

oh I am so tired with all these unsteadiness, ups and downs thingy

like i've said before